Boy Tears

Poppers are for pu**ys. Step up your bedroom game with Boy Tears. They smell sweeter and hit harder. With this high quality specialty label, you'll be able to turn your little brown bottle into a potion of mass devastation.  

Will require bending. The label is flexible enough to wrap around your bottle, but solid enough not to snap when you do it. Just get your best trade to do it for you, it'll remind him who's in charge. Spoiler alert: it's not you Mary.