Doesn't take very long in my area of the world, USA. When I make a change in my shops it usually updates within 10 to 15 seconds; for example if I were to change a picture.
To sell a product list as public and for sale. You turn the public toggle off if you don't want it to show up in your shop, like for example these ring sizes for my
DNA ring don't show up in my shop, but each size is available for sale if you have the links.
As for materials turning on that you don't want, that shouldn't happen. You need to turn them on under the pricing tab in order to sale those materials. Be sure to add your markup too. What may be happening is that when you're logged in you can order any of the materials that your model is geometrically compatible with. Try logging out and then look at the product to see what a customer would see.
If you don't want people to download your model make sure the allow downloads check box is unchecked. But here again, if you are logged in you yourself can download it. Look at it while logged out to see what the public will see.