Runaway Blimp aka Raytheon JLENS

So everyone a nice piece of military technology at their desk.. a nice fighter jet or a nice tank.. You can buy these already painted and assembled or you can buy nice kits that allows you to do such things. However, i have something even better and is 3D printed!!

You know a fighter jet is a couple of million of dollars.. so are tanks.. but if you are a baller you want something that costed billions.. (but not as expensive as the F-35 which is at Trillions of dollars and doesn't even work yet). i have the perfect piece of military memorabilia

Anyways i'm kind of famous for making butt plugs as you can see in my website politicalsculptor.com or you can just google "Fernando Sosa 3D".. i didn't choose to be the butt plug man but it just happened.. So when i saw this butt plug looking thing on TV for a couple of hours, i was intrigued.. However, When i found this monstrosity, butt plug looking thing costed the american tax payer almost 4 BILLION DOLLARS.. I went from intrigued to pissed off...

So according to some research i did this is part of a pair of butt plug balloons, i mean Blimps.. These blimps are flown extremely high and connected with a huge cable to tiny land bases.. I'm guessing the wireless model cost more than 2 billion dollars.. These things suppose to be able to detect missiles and aircrafts that fly very low that aren't detectable by regular radar. Which i think is bull shit because apparently the other "working" blimp wasn't able to detect the run away blimp that had gotten away.

Anyways this extremely expensive ballon somehow got lose and apparently has no way of being controlled since it doesn't appear to have any propellers and the 2 billion dollar remote control that deflates it wasn't working. )i'm guessing the one with propelers and working remote is 3 billion dollars.

So whenever you are working your ass off at your office and wonder where in the fuck your tax dollars are going.. Now you can stare at this butt plug looking thing and be assured that your money is making someone at some government contractor like Raytheon or Lockheed Martin very very rich and we are getting some non working piece of military technology that took out the power of about 30,000 people because we did't buy the wireless model..

Sources http://www.businessinsider.com/blimp-loose-floats-across-country-military-2015-10 http://foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com/this-giant-sensor-packed-balloon-is-about-to-watch-over-1635655334/1739241144

Disclaimer: This is satire and if Raytheon doesn't wan't to see this kind of embarrassing product being made maybe you should not be over charging us the tax payer with shitty products that don't work and run away!!!